Taxi Wars III: Return of the Angst

Today we’re traveling on mainly back roads to get to our final destination of Sheperdstown, WV. Last night we stayed in Bradford, PA..I can only assume that it is here where they make the Zippo lighters or at least this is where you can find the main headquarters. We saw an orange neon flame flashing above the lighter sign fixed in the center of the building, which was also neon…stationed on brick. Next to the sign read “Zippo” (also neon)….as inconsequential as this may seem, we live for famous sites in no name cities. There’s a not loads of sights to look forward to in small American towns other than City Hall…maybe. Today we’re late for an afternoon show, because we did not realize that this show happens in the afternoon.

Two high class stories from NYC this past weekend:
Numero one: Saturday night we ( me, Jason, Brett) made our way to Gramercy to see some friends play at the arts center/theatre there. After the show, we went out with friends (Jon & Amy and Bob)…the night was completely lighthearted along with our late, 2 in the morning, dinner conversation. Over our deli sandwiches, Jason and I described the bizarre subcultures that we’ve dived into on the road. We spoke of quirky hotel clerks who made sure checking in was never easy to do …so on and so on. Our friends shared their similar, hilarious tales as well. Everyone was laughing and before we knew it the clock ticked on past 2AM. Little did we know that our stories had nothing on the story that was to follow. The subways take a very long time on the weekend, so we decided to get a cab back to Brooklyn where we were staying for the night. We waved down a cab. But 2 cabs tried to get our gig and then decided to yell at each other. For a second we stood and watched thinking that these were reasonable human beings and that the cursing and yelling would naturally stop because we, the clientele, we’re waiting on the side of the road. Instead they got out of the car and decided it’d be best to just duke it on out. Nothing a good ol’ fistfight can’t handle eh? At this point, Jason took on Good Samaritan role and decided to try to break up the fight. After one guy was hit the face, a rear view mirror kicked in, and Jason’s chocolate cake smashed in (that he had bought from the deli)..not to mention some pretty daggum creative obscenities…the drama subsided…or so we thought.

We get in the cab with the guy who really deserved to take us to Brooklyn after a couple laughs and deep breathes. Then, our now archenemy pulls beside us and still hasn’t had enough. He is like Iron Mike and nothing will stop this crazed taxi driver. So, naturally, they decide not to fist fight…no that’s be too easy for a red light altercation. Instead, they find it fitting to start ramming their vehicles into each other while we, AGAIN the clientele, hold our position in the back wondering how to respond. Is there even an adequate response to something like this? We’re bouncing around in the back seat essentially having been in a real life accident…..where people normally stop, get out, and call insurance agencies, and all I can say is “hey man”! I’m still in the process of convincing myself and everyone around me that this actually really did happened. The bizarre thing remains: we still stayed in the cab and paid the driver when we arrived all vexed up in Brooklyn. The experience was worth at least $100 but we paid $20. The End.

Number 2:
The next night a couple homeless friends needed some food to eat, so went to a cheap, middle eastern street diner down the street…located in the lower east village. We chatted it up and as I went up to the counter to pay…I began to notice how bizarre a look I was receiving from one the two homeless dudes I was with. I set their food down, asked them where they were from, and then they asked me their question: “ Hey man, are you homeless too?” I laughed and said no, but either way it truly was another priceless moment, and I hope those guys were able to get past all the cold hearts and weather in NYC.